When Pride Says 'I Got This'… But Freedom Demands Something Else

You wouldn’t believe how many calls I get that start with silence... Maybe a sniffle and what I imagine the wiping of the eyes... Not because there’s nothing to say. But because saying “I need help” feels like choking on glass.

It’s not that the person doesn’t want to change. It’s that they’re terrified of what asking for help might cost them.

Their image. Their pride. Their illusion of control.

But here’s the kicker... The people who try to go it alone almost never make it. And the people who do ask for help? They win. Not because they’re smarter. But because they’re finally willing to trade pride for progress.

The Trap of “I Got This”

Somewhere along the line, we picked up this toxic lie... strong people figure it out on their own. That asking for help is weakness. That you need to prove yourself before you deserve support.

It's garbage. Okay… In true Nate fashion it’s Shit!

Every day, I see people trapped by this belief… smart, high-functioning people who are bleeding out emotionally, but still trying to muscle through it alone.

They say things like:

• “I don’t want to burden anyone.”
• “I should know better.”
• “I’ll fix it first, then ask.”

But addiction, trauma, shame… they don’t bow to solo efforts. They feed on isolation.

And pride? Pride is the perfect prison.

No One Remembers Who You Asked

I had a client tell me once, “If I’m gonna fail, I want it to be on me.”

I get that.

But here’s the thing… nobody cares who you asked for help. They just want to know if you made it through.

Nobody remembers the names of the treatment centers, the coaches, the mentors. They remember the person who got healthy. The one who showed up. The one who healed.

We think people are keeping track of our struggles. They’re not. They’re watching to see if we rise.

So ask yourself... Do I want to look strong, or do I want to get free?

Why We Resist Help

It’s not just pride. It’s fear.

• Fear of being seen as weak
• Fear of failure
• Fear of what asking for help says about us

We build our identity around being the one who holds it together. But real identity… sustainable, unshakable identity in recovery… isn’t about pretending to be strong. It’s about becoming someone who chooses growth over ego.

And yes, it’s vulnerable. But it’s also powerful.

Because when you admit, “I can’t do this alone,” you create space for healing. You open the door.

The Truth About Risk

Let me be real… There’s no version of recovery that doesn’t involve risk. Asking for help is risky. Going to treatment is risky. Telling the truth is risky.

But so is staying the same.... You risk your marriage, your health, your job, your life.

So! if risk is inevitable… why not choose the one that leads to freedom?

What Makes You Dangerous

You know what makes someone truly dangerous in recovery? They’re willing to look stupid.

They’re willing to say:

• “I don’t know.”
• “Can someone show me?”
• “What else am I missing?”

Because that person? They learn their true 2.0 faster than the one clinging to pride. They grow. They change. They win.

Rewriting Your Story

Here’s what most people forget: You get to rewrite your story.

You get to say:

• “I was lost, but I asked.”
• “I fell, but I got up.”
• “I didn’t do it alone… and that’s why I made it.”

We only remember the highlight reel. And guess what? You’re still filming it.... So the next scene? Let it be the one where you make the call. Where you raise your hand. Where you stop pretending… and start building.

If You’re Reading This and It Hit Something

You’re not the only one carrying more than you should. You’re not the only one afraid to ask. And you’re not the only one who feels stuck trying to look strong while everything’s unraveling underneath.

So here’s what I want you to know: You are not weak for wanting out. You are not broken for struggling. And you are never beneath asking for help.

Because pride says “I got this.” Recovery says “I’ll ask for help.” Only one of those gets you free.

If you’re ready for real change and real recovery… the kind that lasts… reach out.

We’ll start where you are. We’ll build something that lasts. And we’ll do it together.

Struggling with addiction recovery, emotional resilience, or learning how to ask for help? This blog dives deep into the real truth behind pride and healing. Whether you're seeking addiction treatment support, recovery coaching, sober living guidance, mental health strategies, or building emotional intelligence—this is for you. Learn why asking for help in recovery isn't weakness... it's the real first step toward long-term freedom, growth, and peace. If you're feeling overwhelmed, stuck in shame, or trying to support a loved one through substance use disorder or alcohol dependency, you’ll find value here. Start changing your relationship with recovery—and with yourself.

*This is a recovery/health coaching education service only. It is not, and is not intended to be, medical treatment or recommendations for medical treatment. Actual medical treatment must come from your physician. Telephone or video consultations do not replace the need for seeing a doctor in person. Holding Doors recovery educators and coaches cannot diagnose or prescribe medications, treatment, or testing procedures. Holding Doors recovery educators and coaches can provide general information that may need to be reviewed and approved by that person’s own physician. Consultations are not considered to be medical advice or diagnosis.